Sunday, December 25, 2011

Helping me survive...

I am attempting to blog from my cell so if there are lots of mistakes, please forgive me. Paul is snoring. The tv is on...Futurama, if you are curious. I am thinking of everything from the past few days. What has helped me get through... My twin is one. She has never been through this. But she knows my heart aches. She knows when I am quiet and tearing up at my eye, that I need a second to regroup. The day of the sonogram when I found out, I wouldn't have made it through without (besides my twin) someone I consider a best friend, Julie. She could have left when I got home. But she didn't. Her older daughter also walked outside so I wouldn't pay her for babysitting. All of my friends on Facebook, that have left kind thoughts and prayers. The comments on my blog. My best friend, Katie. She sent me flowers. She has called just to check on me. Of course, praying. I have been deep in thoughts and prayers with God. The kids. Shayne gives me hugs and tells me she's sad there isn't a baby anymore. Stormy asks lots of questions. Connor...makes a few comments. Sage and Cooper haven't a clue. Paul has been...saving me. He tells me to rest. He just stops and hugs me. He holds my hand. He tells me everything will be okay. He asks me if I am okay. He understands it isn't so much the physical pain's head and heart pain. Yeah...the pain you would trade for physical pain because at least that's temporary. Of course I'm surviving. But it is so much easier because of everything I listed. I can't explain how grateful I am. I wish I didn't have to go through it at all. But I thank you all for making it easier for me.


  1. It comforts me knowing you are being looked out for. Hang in there! Love you!!

  2. *hugs*

    As a friend of mine always says, "Everything will be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end."

    Hang in there and keep leaning on your friends, that's what they're there for.

    Thinking of you,

    PS I sent a separate, much longer message via FB messenger.