Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Control freak…

Every day is a struggle for me to let go more and not let my OCD control everything.

My house is lived in. Not a museum. So...yes. There are crumbs on the floor. There are handprints and scribbles on the walls (the handprints don't bother me. The scribbling does!). My desk is covered (literally as I type this) with paperwork. The kitchen counter has loads of more stuff for me to go through. I did clean the girls’ room. Why? Because, sometimes, it’s nice to have someone clean for you. That’s my gift to the girls today. I’m not gonna go crazy for a messy room today. The boys’ room will have to wait until tomorrow because…I just don’t feel like doing it today.

My kids are far from perfect.

I try, TRY everyday to make sure they get to be themselves.

I cringe when they spill and then look at me like "crap is she gonna flip?" I’m not cringing because of the spill. I’m cringing because at one point, I would’ve flipped.out. About not paying attention and I would’ve hauled butt to clean it. Now? I try to just say no big deal, you know where the towels are. Just wipe it up quickly before it spreads.

I 'm getting better.

Their grades. Yes. I want them to all have great grades. What I want more than that is for them to learn and do the best they can. Your kid got an A? Awesome. Mine got a C but worked their butt off for it.

More than their grades, more than a clean house, more than almost anything, I want them to be happy, healthy and know how much I love them. Even when I flip out. Which I guarantee you is going to happen. I’m just trying to be better about it.


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