Ouch.

Today I had my 3-hour glucose test.

You see…I flunked the regular glucose test last week.

But I was told by a nurse I adore there… “just barely missed it.”

How much is just barely you may be wondering {as I was curious also}?

Let’s go over the whole process of this test for me and then I will tell you the results from what “barely flunked” is.

The regular one:

Not supposed to eat anything too heavy in sweets before your test. And you eat nothing at all once you’ve drunk the glucola. I chose orange flavor. It’s not too bad actually. It’s the last few swallows that are horrendously hard to drink down.

Get to the appointment and at exactly the one hour mark…you have your blood drawn.

A few days later…get the call that you have to come in for big test.

The 3-hour one:

No eating for 12 hours before the test. Only water intake. Normally not a problem right?

Except when someone tells you no, you can’t eat. That’s when you are suddenly overcome with hunger pains that you think you may gnaw your own arm off to make stop.

You get to the appointment. First blood draw for a baseline figure. Then instead of the 50mg of regular glucola, you get 100mg of potent glucola. {This time it was fruit punch flavor. Not my favorite. And even less so after today.} And you wait an hour…

Hour 1 blood draw.

Having uncooperative veins is NOT ideal for this test.

Okay…blood draw 1 done…not that bad. Only a little moving the needle around in my arm to get the right vein with the butterfly needle.

Back to the waiting room for another hour.

People watching. Cell phone playing. Bored. Wanting a nap. No nap because how weird would  that  be?

Hour 2 blood draw.

HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL. PLEASE LET’S GET THE VEIN WITHOUT KILLING ME.

This one took lots of digging..And 3 locations on my arm to get the little death tube filled with my life support.

Back to the waiting room I go.

Last hour is rough.

I think everyone in the waiting room can hear my stomach growling. I have been drinking so  much water that I now have made 3 trips to the restroom in this short period of time.

Cell phone games. Texting. Facebooking {is that a word?}. Reading. More people watching.

Oh…thank you Lord. It’s time for the 4th and final draw.

Please let it be less painful.

She goes to the other arm.

Nice and easy.

Suh-weet.

I haul booty to my favorite restaurant and get my food to go.

I eat half of it in the parking lot. The other half on the way home.

The baby is kicking up a storm because I think she is relieved that my stomach didn’t eat her.

So…back to barely flunked.

I asked.

My first test results were 138.

The number you need to officially pass?

135.

What.a.load.of….

I will find out the results of this test by the end of the week. I’m hoping I passed. I’m pretty confident actually.

I also learned a few things…

1. Anorexia is not my cup of tea. Starving myself for 12 hours nearly did me in. I can’t imagine a life like that.

2. People that drink water to help them not be hungry…do they wear depends? Or just live by a restroom constantly needing to go?

3. Drug user? No way (never really an option for me. I’ve never done any and don’t plan to). A few obvious reasons. It’s pretty bad on…everything and everyone. But…my veins would never work for that purpose. And I’m cool with that.

4. People watching at an OB/GYN office is weird and funny. The bellies. The older ladies that are only there because they have to. The little babies that come with the mommies…ahhh….LOVE IT!

So…there you have it.

3 points is what I missed the first test on gestational diabetes.

I will let you know the results of the big test…when I hear them!