Monday, January 31, 2011

The pain…oh the pain…physical and emotional…

New story. True story. About me. From me. Are you ready?

Get your imaginations in gear. You’re gonna need them.

I was taking the girls to school. Since we were heading out, I decided to grab the last bit of recycling stuff and take it out to the curb. I open the garage. Man is it cold!

The girls get into the van. All 3 girls. Yep. The two-year-old devil came downstairs and said “I up Momma.” So I had to take her. All three boys in the house were upstairs sleeping. Lucky, smart cookies they are. I walk tenderly down the driveway. It is icy. I slip. Did I catch myself?

Yeah. I caught myself. Slamming my face into the side of Paul’s car. But I didn’t completely drop the recycling bag…yet. I get up. Looking around to see if anyone saw me. Nope.

I (being the genius that I am) keep walking. Or sliding down the rest of the driveway. I am 3 feet from the recycling trash can. And then…

DOWN I go. Hard. The recycling goes a few different directions. I let out a few choice words. Holy crap. I get on my knees and pick up a the recycling trash that I can reach. I tenderly slide to the trash can. Throw it in. I look around. I still don’t think anyone saw me. And the recycling stuff that blew out of reach…I don’t care. I am in so much pain. I hop on the grass and walk up the side of the driveway. Shayne is asking me if I am okay. I told her I think I broke my face and my butt. She looks at me and can’t tell if I am serious or not. I tell her I didn’t break anything (that I am aware of).

Now for the complete mental image. Imagine…a 30-something-year-old mother of 5 with blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail. In a bright yellow coat. In pajama pants (striped) and crocs. Sliding down the driveway. Bouncing her cheek off her hubby’s Bonneville and then trying to walk down the driveway. All for the sake of recycling. Here I am trying to help Mother Earth. And she kicks me when I am down.

I called Paul. Yes…even though I was just in the driveway. My words?

“Get up. Go salt the driveway. I just slammed my face into your car. And then as if that wasn’t enough. I fell again at the end of the driveway.”


He was salting the driveway when I got home. He said it wasn’t slippery at all. He was wearing spikes on his shoes.


Wanna see what those pajama pants look like?


{This picture is from December of 2003.

Yes. I was very pregnant with Stormy.

Yes. I still have them. They are the most comfy pajama pants.}


Now if you will excuse me while I go put a Band-Aid on my knee that is bleeding. And ice on my face…it is swelling. And eat a piece of candy for my very wounded ego.


  1. You really are single-minded! I would have said forget the recycling, it can wait for another day! I'm picturing the rest of the story and I've gotta tell ya, it did make me smile! Not at your pain, but that you definately are my daughter! This doesn't make me feel so bad for falling out of my chair at work!

  2. LOL sorry to laugh you poor thing!! We ahve a steep driveway too and James slid right past the car and couldn't get back up. I had to pull down and pick him at the sidewalk. It's gonna get worse. Be careful when you go to pick the kids up!

  3. Seriously - I laughed my ass off! Only to us Sissy! Mom-you fell out of your work chair? Really?